Most parents try their best to be the 'perfect parents.' They invest an endless amount of effort in being available for their children, providing them with their needs to the best of their ability. However, although being there for your children is very important, it is not enough. It is only part of being a good parent. Parents need to think more about what they are teaching their children through their behavior because children are usually more affected by what their parents do than by what they say. From the time they are born, children observe, learn and acquire from their parents. It is very unlikely that a parent's words will have much impact on a child's behavior and attitude unless the parent practices what he preaches. According to clinical psychologist, whether parents realize it or not, they are their children's first teachers. The question is whether they will also become positive role models. A role model is someone you look up to, someone who inspires and motivates you. Whether or not parents are going to become positive role models is really up to them and how much time and effort they put into raising their children. By setting a good example, you can help your child make suitable choices in life. Children who have positive role models are more likely to do well in school and to have more self-esteem. Positive role model parents help their children realize their own potentials, boost self-esteem, and make them trust in themselves. Here are four of the most effective ways to be a positive role model. 1. Set a good example • Model appropriate emotional responses. If you lose your temper quickly or raise your voice, your children will learn to do the same, so try your best to control your responses. Unfortunately, parents don't act perfectly all the time, and they may sometimes lose their self-control. Take these tips into consideration to help you control your temper: - Avoid blowing your top when your children overdo it! Go to a room your children are not in, close the door and have a few moments on your own. You will feel better after you have had some breathing space. Later when you are calmer, you can approach them. - Listen to some music to break away from the tense situation. - Try the unexpected with your children. Try using humor when giving your orders and instructions. You can also release your tension by answering your children playfully. • Show respect for others. Pay attention to the vocabulary you use and the way you speak. Respect your children and speak of others in a positive way. If you say "please" and "thank you," your child will learn to say them too. • Do volunteer work. Your child will learn the importance of giving and helping other people. • Take time to exercise and relax. If you take care of yourself by exercising regularly and making time for relaxation, your children will most likely do the same. • Make time to read. Your child will observe that you enjoy reading, and that it is an essential part of your life. This is an effective way to make your child love reading because he will imitate you. 2. Be consistent When you make a house rule, stick to it. It is confusing for children when their parents say no to something one day, then agree to it the next. Also, when you tell your children that you don't approve of something they are saying or doing, you have to make sure that you do not do that same action. For example, if you tell your child that he shouldn't hit his friends or yell at his brother or sister, and then you give him a spanking as a punishment for his behavior, this will confuse him. Parents should not yell at their children or hit them in the first place. This behavior teaches nothing other than aggressive reactions and being out of control. 3. Tell your children about your tough times How you deal with a problem is very important. If you are going through a stressful time or facing a problem, talk about it honestly with your child. Children need to know that such problems are a normal part of life. It is okay to let your children know when you've failed or made a mistake, it may make it easier for them to tell you when they have made mistakes. 4. Enjoy healthy eating habits Parents should model healthy eating habits because children pick up attitudes towards food, so try your best to eat together as a family as often as possible. Establishing healthy habits can be very difficult for children who receive mixed messages, so try your best to practice what you preach. Also, encourage your children to prepare food with you. Pleasant memories of making meals and sharing them at home are the start of family traditions that your children will carry on throughout their life. Here are some good habits to model for your children: - Never skip meals. - Limit junk food in the house. - Drink water frequently. - Drink fresh fruit juices or milk instead of sodas. - Don't use eating as a way to manage stress.
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Monday, October 15, 2007
Role Model for your children
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